What is stress and how is it troublesome?

It goes without saying that stress and the challenges of dealing with problems are part of everyday life. There are many mental and physical health, and social benefits to effectively managing stress in our lives. So what is stress and the problem we have with it? We surely know it when it’s there! And it likely could be described in as many ways as the number of persons asked. A generic way to describe it is “the body and mind’s reaction to any stimuli that disturb its equilibrium.” To make it more applicable, let’s look a little deeper.

We’re familiar with most of the various stimuli that disturb equilibrium. They can range from pressure of time and responsibilities, work, the boss, school, kids, parents, traffic, career, financial, relationships, and so on. There’s also internal sources, such as worries, doubts, self-evaluations, physical or emotional pain, and our expectations and perceptions of things.

Bodily Response to Stress

What are some of the body and mind’s reaction to stress? From a physiological perspective, regardless of the source(s) of stress, we’re wired as a species to mobilize our bodies for action as needed. So, in a sense, our bodymind reacts in a similar way it would when a possible real physical danger is perceived or present. A part of the autonomic nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), is activated, releasing hormones and neurotransmitters that cause various physiological reactions of heightened alertness and energy, and readiness for action. We recognize this as the Fight/Flight/or Freeze reaction. In some situations, this is good and serves as potentially life-saving and a protective function in us animals. When the stress and our reaction to it is extreme or prolonged and the SNS remains activated, however, there is the danger of going into what is called a hyperadrenaline state that, in turn, can cause various health problems.

When someone is in distress and suffering, either due to being overwhelmed or is prolonged, it’s not uncommon to begin experiencing some signs that things are not going well. They could be of a psychological nature manifesting as anxiety and worry, or depression, or frustration and anger, or relationship and social problems. Many people are familiar with some of the physical symptoms that can arise from stress, such as inflammation, high blood pressure, headaches, high blood sugar, a suppressed immune system, fatigue, and insomnia, among others. It’s at this point that we might start looking for some help or make changes of some kind, or worse by doing unhealthy things.

Distressed States Seem Intolerable

Most commonly, the focus of our attention tends to be on the stimulus, what seems to be the cause, when we have a stress reaction. We want whatever it is, the person or situation, to change or be different than it is. We want things to be the way we like it, and not what we don’t like. This sets up a process of worry and rumination about what’s happened and those involved, and what we anticipate or want to happen next. Amazingly, by just thinking about it our bodies and emotions can react in a similar way as if the actual situation is happening in real time. So, in a sense, our bodymind reaction to the stress stimuli is perpetuated.

It’s understandable to just want things to be normal again, to have some peace. We want to “feel” better. Why? Because what we feel in these distressed states seem intolerable. Although we’d like to change the unpleasant circumstances or people that are the sources of our stress, oftentimes we can’t. And herein lies the dilemma, as well as pointing to the solution. If we continue to exclusively “look out there,” we miss the opportunity to find real peace and freedom, which lies within. If we allow our attention to shift a little (or maybe a lot) for a moment, we might notice that what is so unpleasant and unwanted when distressed is actually our inner experience; our bodily sensations and feelings, disturbing thoughts and beliefs, and impulses. That’s what we need to attend to.

Breaking the Cycle of Stress

“Mindfulness is a pause – the space between stimulus and response: that’s where choice lies.” – Tara Brach

When our attention is mostly focused on the outside and our inner thoughts about what we don’t like and what we want different, we tend to react more or less mechanically established from long-term conditioning without realizing it. You might recognize some of these automatic patterns like lashing out in anger (at others or yourself), defensiveness, withdrawing, complaining, repetitive familiar conclusions and beliefs about yourself, others, or situations, and so on.

There is a way to break the cycle of stress! It starts with developing awareness of your bodymind experience. Like most people, your continuing struggle surely isn’t due to a lack of trying or effort. For many, learning and practicing Mindfulness has been a helpful way of paying attention and achieving a sense of calmness in a different and beneficial way. To improve awareness, we learn to pause and be more present in the moment. Awareness of our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, helps to recognize their impermanent and changing nature. And dropping some of the judgments we engage with helps calm the mind and acknowledge what is in this moment. A calmer or more peaceful mind opens us to better choices. Meditation and cognitive tools are used in Mindfulness to help train the mind in this way.

Treatment Options

I offer two formats for working with people who are struggling with stress and related forms of distress. One is a 6-week format meeting once a week and includes material for home practice. The other is more general counseling, which tends to be broader in scope, individualized according to the person’s needs and situation, and is not structured in a six-week format. Give me a call so we can arrange a time to meet and talk and find out if this might be helpful for you.