Mindfulness – Meditation

The practice of Mindfulness meditation and the wisdom emanating from it has been around for a long, long time. Starting in the East and spreading to the West in more recent times, it has grown in popularity in its use and in the media. Many of you reading this might already be familiar with it or at least heard of it. So, “How can it help?”

First, let me just mention that there are multiple studies showing support for its effectiveness in the research literature. Many of them involved those who have participated in mindfulness meditation-based programs, such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), and similar programs, as well as long-term meditators. The conclusions, broadly, are that Mindfulness generates various positive effects on psychological health, including increased sense of well-being, and reduced psychological and physical symptoms and emotional reactivity.

“Be where you are, otherwise you will miss your life.” – Buddha

What is Mindfulness?

I like the definition of Mindfulness given by Diana Winston (UCLA), “Paying attention to present moment experience with open curiosity and a willingness to be with what is.” The meditation and related practices, along with cognitive techniques, are used to foster tools or abilities you already have, but maybe not utilize as often or as well as needed. These include awareness and being present in the here-and-now, an attitude of acceptance and non-judgment, and compassion and patience. Mindfulness meditation, in essence, is training to stabilize and calm the mind.

Mindfulness is a way of perhaps breaking the cycle of detrimental stress by learning to pay attention to what our present experience is really like. By learning to notice and attend to our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, we open the possibility of seeing some of the automatic reactions that we usually pay little attention to, yet can sometimes lead to the feeling of misery. This increased awareness is the cornerstone of making choices and the possibility of change. It also makes it easier, over time, to relate to things as they are, rather than how we want or expect them to be. This includes relating to difficult feelings and issues.

Mindfulness meditation, in general, involves observing our body and mind, our present experience, intentionally from moment-to-moment, accepting ourselves as we are and not engaging in rejecting, putting down, or censuring what comes up. The skills and frame of mind that develop are brought into everyday life and continually grow with regular practice over time.

“What would it be like if I could accept life – accept this moment – exactly as it is?” – Tara Brach

The Mindful Way

Just imagine what it would be like if when facing a difficult situation or just feeling really uptight, you responded first by pausing, being still, and connecting to your wholeness through present awareness and your breath. How might that be different for you? This is the Mindful Way or what has also been called, the Way of Awareness.

Even though we’d like to, changing unpleasant circumstances or people to make us feel better just isn’t all that effective. When accepting things as they are, realizing their impermanent nature, and managing our inner experience with equanimity, space is created for calmness to arise enabling greater freedom to think and chose our course of action.

Distress and Reactions

It is not easy to deal with chronic stress, anxiety, depression, or repeated arguments with those we love, or anger at those we work with, or the struggle of ongoing or recurrent pain. Our impulse, understandably, is to try to fix what we see as the problems. This tends to foster ruminations, worry, and efforts to figure it all out or think our way through it. There might be thoughts of “What’s wrong with me?” or “Why does this keep happening to me?” and others that run rampant. Some common actions that might have become a pattern in response to distress could be working harder and doing more, excessive use of food or substances, busyness, and/or reacting impulsively or withdrawing, among others.

The Mindfulness approach suggests it isn’t about that, although some change or fix we desire might happen in the process. Rather, it teaches us to develop and maintain a stance of non-reactivity and to stand back, as best we can, to notice what we are thinking and feel what we are feeling, with awareness, curiosity, kindness and acceptance, and without judgment. This changes our relationship to what is difficult for us. So, whether our experience or a situation is pleasant or unpleasant, they are the same; something to be acknowledged as it is without judgment, knowing that everything changes. When we can say, “It’s OK, this is what it is, it’s just part of life, and I’m OK,” it helps us to learn to respond rather than react, and perhaps gain some peace.

“As I noticed feelings and thoughts appear and disappear, it became increasingly clear that they were just coming and going on their own. . . There was no sense of a self-owning them.” – Tara Brach

Connecting With Our Calmness

By continuing with our meditation practice and bringing mindfulness into our daily lives, we learn the ability to mind the self, becoming more aware of our intentions and our present experience of sensations, thoughts, feelings, and impulses. We may come to recognize that the stresses we experience are just part of our broader experience and that they will pass on; they come and they go like the waves of the ocean. They constantly move and change shape and size, yet the deeper body of the ocean remains stable and durable. And connecting with our present ‘body of the ocean’ helps ease us from being “jerked around by our likes and dislikes, or fears and hopes.”

Stress, Mindfulness, and Counseling

My long experience in the mental health field has shown me that counseling is generally helpful in processing and resolving troubling life issues, feeling better, gaining coping skills and managing life more effectively. Learning Mindfulness blends well with counseling in most cases. Some people have little interest in the nature of the primary exercise, meditation, and for others, it is not well suited for them. That is understood and completely acceptable. The effectiveness and helpfulness of counseling are not hindered by a preference to not incorporating it in the process.

For those who wish to make mindfulness the primary focus, this can be done informally or by means of a more structured process of 6-weekly sessions (or more if desired) that includes homework practice.